Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I'm Testing BlogJet... So far, so good

I’m testing BlogJet (desktop blog publishing software), and I’ll report my results after I’ve given it a good workover.Kitty in the box. Awwwwwww...In the meantime, I’m just going to continue blogging as usual, though you may notice a few extra posts designed primarily to see how this thing handles different tests I throw at it, such as the occasional random picture designed strictly with BOTB in mind…

This is such a post. No particular point to it, so I suppose I may as well discuss the time when turkeys ruled the planet. yeah, it was about a million years ago. The dinosaurs had long since vanished, and there was nothing big enough left on the planet to threaten the turkeys. Finally atop the food chain, they developed rapidly, forming not only a language, but a system of government.

The Republicans took power early on, but of course everyone knows that if you let a bunch of Republican turkeys run things, it’ll go straight to hell pretty quick, and so it was that the turkeys nearly vanished from the face of the earth. Think of this as you gather with friends and family on Thanksgiving, and notice all the strange looks you get when you start giggling for no apparent reason at the table.


PS – Fine, here’s a hottie. Can I GET a freakin’ vote already?


So sayeth Angry Internet Guy, the only voice that "really" matters on the web.

Top 10 ways to keep your kids off drugs

10. Make them watch "Where are they now" on VH1

9. Teach them about George W. Bush. Sure, he has a decent job, but just look at the poor guy...

8. Threaten to send them to a German boot camp where they beat you for not knowing German.

7. Threaten to make them go to confession with that priest who got transferred to your hometown for "administrative reasons".

6. Beat them often for no real reason. Explain that it's preemptive, because you might have to work overtime on the future day that you find marijuana in their room.

5. Steal all of their money from their piggy bank so they can't afford to buy drugs.

4. Chain them up in the basement like a responsible parent.

3. Stuff them full of junk food every single day so that they already have a vice when they become fat teenagers.

2. Two words... "Shock Collar"

And the Number One way to keep your kids off drugs...

1. Tell them that you do drugs. No kid wants to be like their parent.

So sayeth Angry Internet Guy, the only voice that "really" matters on the web.


Related joke:

Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."

So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.

So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.

''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy.

''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge.

''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...''

Decision 2005... Your vote counts!

Maybe THIS will win a battle in the Battle of the Blogs...

I lost every single battle today. yeah, EVERY single one. And several of them were to really boring blogs, too... :( I don't mind losing to a good blog, but to blogs that have lost 40 in a row, and then they beat me 11-4 or something? Yikes.

Link to cheerleader since it was screwing up this page's layout...

Angry Internet Guy says, "Can Angry Internet Guy catch a break if I put b()()bies on MY blog, too?"