Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Imams ejected for "flying while Muslim"

Six Imams (Muslim religious figures, essentially the equivalent of a priest) were removed from a US Airways flight on Monday. While the reports are somewhat conflicting at this point, here's the basic scoop:

1. They were praying before boarding the plane. Of course, prayer is legal in this country, but when 6 Muslims are praying right before getting on the airplane, it looks suspicious to the average American. Sure - do your prayers, but do them BEFORE you get into the crowded airport while Americans are doing their early holiday flying, assholes.

2. They were reported to have been making anti-American remarks. Again, this is perfectly legal and protected by the First Amendment, but don't expect to be allowed on the airplane two minutes later, assholes.

3. They apparently asked for at least one seat belt extention, which was suspicious inasmuch as the person in question did not need one to conform to aviation guidelines. Therefore, it was assumed that he wanted to hold his giant bomb in place during takeoff, or something to that effect. If you don't fit in with the crowd, you don't get to ride the airplane, assholes.

4. They allegedly refused to sit together, and instead insisted on sitting in scattered locations, as was the case with the 9/11 hijackers. Again, if you're Muslim, don't expect to get the benefit of the doubt. And yes, it's entirely your fault, even if you weren't on one of the 9/11 planes. The terrorists hold our innocent responsible for the actions of a small group of us, so we hold your innocent responsible for the actions of a small group of you. Don't like it, take your ass back to the Middle East. As a whole, you've long since worn out your welcome here anyway, even without the terrorist stuff.

5. And worst of all, they were Muslim. Not just Muslim by religion or by birth, but rather they were "being" Muslim. Simply not a good career move when you're in a crowded airport. And don't start with that racial profiling crap... it wasn't "flying while Muslim" - it was "flying while looking like a terrorist and saying ANYTHING even remotely sounding like 'Allah' in a crowd of nervous Americans". Tiger Woods may be accepted on the golf course, but he doesn't show up with a 2 foot afro while blasting gangsta rap in his boom box. There is a time and place for being one's self, but a crowded airport around Christmas isn't it.

So sayeth Angry Internet Guy. Deal with it.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Communist Vietnam more concerned with citizens' rights than Bush

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Vietnam has decided to abolish the practice of detention without trial, ahead of US President George W. Bush's visit to the communist state in November, a US official told AFP. Link

Hmmm... Apparently, they heard that Bush wasn't going to stand for any competition in that particular field.

I'm not even going to get started on this one. Just read the previous post.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

America the (used to be) free

America is officially no longer a free country.

George Bush has signed a law that is blatantly unconstitutional and that takes away our most basic rights as American citizens, including the right of habeas corpus. The term habeas corpus is commonly heard on television, but few Americans actually know what it means, or more accurately, what it means in terms of our basic rights.

A writ of habeas corpus is a judicial mandate to a prison (or detention center, as the case may be) ordering that a prisoner be brought to court to determine if their imprisonment is legally justified. It does not addres the question of innocence or guilt, but rather the simple matter of whether or not the powers that be have the legal justification to detain the inmate.
Common examples would be someone who has been held without trial or someone who was put in jail indefinitely after being declared in contempt of court by a judge. In the latter instance, judges certainly have the right to imprison someone for contempt for legitimate reasons, but not for a reason such as wearing denim jeans to court because they lacked the money to purchase a business suit.

This new law, however, suspends the right of habeas corpus for anyone deemed to be an enemy combatant. The term enemy combatant is, of course, supposed to refer to someone actively fighting against you (ie - an enemy soldier in time of war), but it is such a loosely defined term that technically, I can be declared an enemy combatant for writing this article.
George Bush has eliminated one of our most basic rights. More importantly, he has violated MY rights, and I will not stand for it. I love this country, but I will not sit idly by while my own government denies me my most basic rights. Habeas corpus is my right. I am entitled to it, and I will not allow ANYONE to take it away from me. That is the whole concept behind the writ - one whose right to liberty has been denied MUST be given the opportunity to challenge the denial of said right.

No doubt I will be called a traitor by the uninformed "armchair patriots" for taking this position, but I tell you now that our nation was founded on the concept that when a government becomes destructive, we have the right to change it.

Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government[...] But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government.

These words are taken directly from the Declaration of Independence, the very statement on which this nation was founded. I am a natural-born citizen of these United States of America, and as such I am directly ordered by the founding document of this nation to take action rather than sitting idly by and allowing the government to abuse their power and deny me my rights. Every citizen of this great nation is likewise ordered to do the same.

We are one step away from Marshall Law. Will you allow such an abhorrent abomination to take place in your own land? I will not. Will you allow a corrupt and blatantly self-serving government to remain in power while they continually abuse that power? I will not. Will you sit idly by and watch the inevitable civil war brewing on CNN without taking action to protect this great nation from such a fate? I will not.

This day and every day, we must focus on the matters of true importance, namely the internal sickness that is openly plaguing our nation. No longer can we afford to allow our rights to be taken away under a veil of partisan propoganda designed to hide the true infection. Further delay will only result in inevitable bloodshed of our own people, fighting against one another in what can only be a bloodier conflict that any civil division in the history of the world. This cannot be allowed to happen, and must be stopped before it snowballs out of control and we end up with military policing of our own streets and the deaths of patriotic citizens who only desire to maintain the freedoms which we already possess.

Our nation was divided once before, with brother fighting brother, but this time both sides will have much more aggressive weapons. Our nation cannot be allowed to decline into a state of internal war - we cannot fight pitched battles amongst one another and protect ourselves from outside forces at the same time.

Our forefathers signed the Declaration of Independence becuase the King of England at the time was found to be committing, among other abhorrent actions, the following unfair practices:

1. He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
2. He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
3. For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
4. He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

Does any of this sound familiar? George Bush has no problem hand-picking the laws and regulations (or lack thereof) that personally benefit him, despite the negative effect on the population as a whole. He has kept the military free from civil power by declaring that any investigation into his actions as Commander in Chief violate or otherwise jeopardize national security, which is the age-old cry of the oppressor. He has taken away our rights one after another. He has constrained our own citizens to bear the burden of punishment and civil ex-communications in the form of calling them unamerican or unpatriotic, merely by utilizing an improperly managed budget to providing media propoganda.

There is something wrong with this country. The nation is sick, and must be cured before it causes the death of our beloved country as we know it.

My name is Jake Russell, and I, with a broken heart over the course in which this country is heading, wholeheartedly approve this message.

Text of the law (PDF):

Other related links:

Friday, August 18, 2006

Why we haven't "won" the war on terror yet

Angry Internet Guy usually has a lot to say about George Bush and his tactics. Typically, they're along the lines of "Bush is an idiot" or "Bush has his head up his ass" or "Bush is dumber than a box of rocks... even if the box held nothing but retarded rocks." Well, this time, I have something else to say about Dubya.

When it comes to fighting terrorism, Bush is totally missing the f**king point. And it isn't because he's stupid... It's simply because their views are too foreign for him (and most of America) to fully grasp. Don't take this the wrong way, but we (as a nation) generally aren't as committed to our beliefs as they are to theirs. I mean, when is the last time that someone in this country was willing to accept death rather than say that maybe their religious beliefs were wrong?

Fortunately, we don't have that sort of persecution anymore (at least not to that extent), and maybe that's partially responsible for the issues we now deal with in the Middle East. When we were a country full of Puritans (aka - our extremist ancestors), we had no problem killing someone for practicing beliefs other than the mainstream. It wasn't right, but it was how we lived.

Bush makes a big deal about chasing down one or two particular leaders, such as Osama Bin Laden, but either this is for the benefit of the media or he simply doesn't seem to see the big picture. Capturing or killing Bin Laden won't make a bit of difference. There are 100 guys ready to step in and take over... and these guys WANT to be martyrs.

Here is a recruitment advertisement that runs weekly in the hardline (aka - fanatical) publication Parto Sokhan. It translates roughly to:

In the Name of God, the Most High

“Martyrdom-seeking operations embody the pinnacle of a nation’s greatness and the apex of its epics”

His Eminence the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

Statement for Recruitment of Martyrdom-seeking Forces

In order to achieve all-round readiness against the enemies of Islam and the sacred Islamic Republic and to protect the foundations of Islam, the Lovers of Martyrdom Garrison plans to organise “a martyrdom-seeking division” for each province in the country from the martyrdom-seeking and brave popular forces of that province and give them specific and specialised training. We therefore request all our pious brothers and sisters, who are committed and determined to defend Islam, if willing, to submit two photographs of themselves, a copy of their identity cards, and the filled-in application form below to the following address, so that preparations for their organisation and training could begin:

It should be noted that for the forces of the martyrdom-seeking division from each province, the training and preparations for martyrdom-seeking operations will be implemented in that province.

The advertisement then continues with what basically amounts to a job application.

I, ……………, son/daughter of ………… ID number………… Date of Birth …………Address:
…………………………………………… Telephone: ……………………

Request membership in the Martyrdom-seeking Division in the province of

Signature: ……………

How do you fight an enemy who can fill out an application to become a suicide bomber as casually as if it were a job application for McDonalds? Well, Angry Internet Guy has a couple of ideas...

1. Bye-Bye.
Just bomb the crap out of the whole area. Stop worrying about the "innocents" because, quite frankly, they're not our friends. That school is full of kids who want to grow up to be not firemen or astronauts, but terrorists, or at the very least, anti-American folks who will cheer when something bad happens to us. A couple of MOABs and the problem goes away permanently. Kill 'em all, and let Allah sort 'em out.

2. Cut off their money factory.
Stop buying our oil from them. Ok, I know this will result in higher prices at the pump, but at least we wouldn't be handing them money that they're going to launder and use against us. I mean, it isn't as if we don't have the technology to build an electric car. I'm not even a scientist, and I have designed a concept motor that not only runs on electricity and magnetism, but continually produces a surplus of electricity that could easily be siphoned from the car into your house. Save the planet while at the same time cutting our electric bill. If -I- can come up with this, then surely the brainiacs in Detroit can come up with something even better.

3. Close the borders.
This should have been done years ago, but politics got in the way. Why are we worried about the Mexicans coming into this country illegally when we ought to be focused on the fact that we're letting Arabs into this country legally... and then TEACHING THEM TO BE ENGINEERS?

4. Lose the politically-correct crap.
We live in a country where we're told that we have to not only tolerate others, but that we also have to be nice to them. WTF? If we're at war with a group of people who wear towels on their heads, then for crying out loud... kick everybody with a towel on their head the hell out of this country. If they remove their towels (or otherwise renounce their beliefs), then they can stay because they're clearly not die-hard extremists, because the extremists wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. If they refuse to do so, they're deported. Period. It isn't the prettiest solution, but it solves the immediate issue of having these sleeper cells living right here in our backyards.

5. Elect a president that doesn't claim to be getting his orders directly from God.
First of all, Bush isn't working for God. Assuming there is a God, he wouldn't have hired Bush to do his bidding. I'm sure that God could have found someone with a slightly higher intellect that wouldn't make Him look bad.

6. Stop pretending that we're still a God-fearing nation.
The extremists aren't fighting against capitalism. They're fighting against the idea that America is a God-fearing nation, as compared to their Allah-fearing beliefs. Why is this? I mean, our television is full of sex, drugs, and violence... hardly religious in nature. But our official stance, despite all of the "separation of church and state" is that we do what God tells us to do. If we are going to be a God-fearing nation, then fine... do what God says. But if we're going to be a nation of blatant heathens (which we pretty much are...), then stop pretending to believe otherwise. It's the hypocrisy that pisses off the rest of the world. Well, that and the fact that our government likes to try and tell other countries how they have to live, and how they have to treat their citizens. Hey, it's their country. If they want to mistreat their citizens, who gives a rat's ass?

Angry Internet Guy isn't anti-American. If we are attacked and I see an opposing military heading towards my town, you'd better believe that I'd be outside killing them like it was a video game. But if it's on the other side of the planet, and (aside from the radicals) they're leaving us alone, then screw 'em. If they want to live in a backwards society, I say let 'em. But I damn sure don't want my tax dollars paying for their education so that they can learn how to hurt us. Kill 'em or kick 'em out. It's all very much the same to me, but let's just get it the hell over with one way or the other, shall we?

So sayeth Angry Internet Guy, the only voice that really matters.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Will someone please smack this asshole?

Christian posterboy and chief fundraiser Pat Robertson is, once again, making an ass of himself, calling for the continuation of hostilities in the Middle East. (At least until his side wins...)

In a nutshell (how appropriate), he takes the position that the entire conflict has been pointless unless it goes as (loosely) predicted in the Bible and kick-starts all the fun stuff you can read in the last book of the Bible, Revelations.

My theory is that he just wants the Jews and the Muslims to keep killing each other so that he continue to use the conflict to raise money for the coming-home kegger he wants to throw for Jesus.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Nude Hillary Clinton Bust

Bwahahahahaha! Hillary's gonna be pissed now that she has become her own Hot Coffee incident. Check out this picture of the Hillary Clinton Nude Bust, currently housed in New York's Museum of Sex.

Bad Hillary! Teaching the nation's youth that it's OK to pose like a whore! How dare you pose for something so trashy! (Well, obviously she had to have posed... I mean, it isn't like someone could scult it otherwise, right? Oh, unless someone took a whole lot of time to "do something that the clay was never actually intended to do".)

(Bad Hillary! The shame... The shame!)

Serves you right for being an asshole about GTA. And just in case I forgot to mention it earlier... Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show

The Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show is back, and Angry Internet Guy is excited. After all, rodeos are a very cool place to watch crazy white guys do incredibly dangerous things that typically end up on "people getting hurt" web videos with catchphrases such as "Hey y'all, watch this!"

Some of the concert entertainers will include the likes of country legends George Strait, Martina McBride, and Brooks & Dunn, as well as the ever-popular comedic relief of Larry the Cable Guy. (Git-r-done! Sorry, but it had to be said.)

Things start off on February 28th, with George Strait performing the concert on opening night, and continue all the way through March 19th with what promises to be an unforgettable experience. If you've never actually gone to a rodeo before, you've got to go. There's something special there - In the words of Garth Brooks, "It's bulls and blood, it's dust and mud, it's the roar of a Sunday crowd." Kind of the redneck equivalent of that first time you visited Fenway park as a kid with your dad and took a bite of a ballpark hot dog... it's just better when you're there.
You can get your Houston Rodeo Tickets at It might be a long way for me from here in Pennsylvania, but if there's any way I can be there, I'll definitely be front and center.