Angry Internet Guy

Top 10 ways to keep your kids off drugs

10. Make them watch "Where are they now" on VH1

9. Teach them about George W. Bush. Sure, he has a decent job, but just look at the poor guy...

8. Threaten to send them to a German boot camp where they beat you for not knowing German.

7. Threaten to make them go to confession with that priest who got transferred to your hometown for "administrative reasons".

6. Beat them often for no real reason. Explain that it's preemptive, because you might have to work overtime on the future day that you find marijuana in their room.

5. Steal all of their money from their piggy bank so they can't afford to buy drugs.

4. Chain them up in the basement like a responsible parent.

3. Stuff them full of junk food every single day so that they already have a vice when they become fat teenagers.

2. Two words... "Shock Collar"

And the Number One way to keep your kids off drugs...

1. Tell them that you do drugs. No kid wants to be like their parent.



So sayeth Angry Internet Guy, the only voice that "really" matters on the web.

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Related joke:

Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."

So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.

So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.

''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy.

''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge.

''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...''

posted by thejake420 @ 2:25 AM