Angry Internet Guy

White guys who want to be black

Never before in the history of this country have white guys wanted to be black. Last time I checked, black people were still complaining about how it sucks to be a black person in America, so why do these rich white kids want to be black?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking black people. I don't actually know any of them, but I'm pretty sure that some of my best friends have black people that work for them. I mean, if it wasn't for black people, who would spend their whole life making my McDonald's cheeseburgers when we long-haired white guys get the munchies from smoking we-- um, tobacco. (Speaking of which, the guy who sold me that was black, too, so I guess I do know a couple of black people after all!)

Relax. I'm kidding. Most black people don't spend their whole life working at McDonald's. They usually get fired for stealing in, like, the first week.

Again, RELAX. It's a joke. If I was black, I'd be picking on white people. That's just how it goes. If you can't laugh at people who are of a different race, then what the hell is the point of having different races? All of us are people. Well, most of us anyway. There are white people that are jerks, and there are black people that are jerks. The only difference is that white people who make fun of black people are called racists, and black people who make fun of black people are called Chris Rock.

I won't even get started on the whole "baggy pants hanging halfway down your ass" thing. I mean, if you can't afford pants that fit, and you have to wear your brother's hand-me-down's, that's one thing, but a rich white kid going into Macy's with Daddy's credit card and intentionally buying a pair of $150 jeans that are 7 sizes too big to look "fly" is just plain stupid. Dude, you don't look fly. You don't look dope. You look like you're on dope, and by the way, your fly is open. That's about as close as you're gonna get, white boy.

Angry Internet Guy says, "Be who you are. If you're an unhappy white guy, then become a serial killer like a normal crazy-ass white guy."

posted by thejake420 @ 10:57 PM