Angry Internet Guy: Free isn't good enough for some people

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Free isn't good enough for some people

Google is in the news again, as they submit a proposal to blanket San Francisco with free wireless internet access. We're talking about free internet access for a whole city's worth of people, at absolutely no cost to the users, but apparently that isn't enough for some people. They're irritated because they think Google represents a potential privacy risk. Granted, it's a pretty good bet that Google will be collecting non-personally identifiable information for statistical purposes (they've got to know how the service is used so that they can improve or expand on any certain parts), but even if they wanted to collect personally identifiable information, who cares? If you don't want Google to see what you're doing, then simply buy your own internet service. (Although who knows what kind of records your ISP is keeping on you...)

This reminds me of a transcript I saw recently on some website. It was a message board thread between a bootleg movie poster and one of the downloaders of said material. All legal issues aside, the poster was "kind" enough to take the time to post a movie so that the downloaders wouldn't have to buy the movie. The downloader, however, was not satisfied with the quality of the movie, and spent 5 paragraphs explaining why the poster was a jerk, why the poster was a worthless so and so, and included a few colorful comments about the poster's questionable maternal heritage.

Come on, people. Are we as a culture really so spoiled that we complain about the quality of stolen goods that someone gives us? Maybe so. We already complain about how miserable our lives are instead of being thankful for the gift of life. We complain about not having anything good on TV instead of being thankful that we have 500 channels from which to choose. We complain about being overweight instead of being thankful that we live in a country where the daily amount of wasted foods from the collective American McDonald's restaurants alone could single-handedly end world hunger.

I say that we should start being more thankful for the wonderful things in life, because after all, the best things in life are free.

Free movies, and all we have to do is squint to watch scrambled HBO.
Free drugs, and all you have to do is put out for the dealer.
Free parking, and all we have to do is double park in the handicapped spots.
Free gas, as long as you always carry a siphon.
Free loose women, and all you have to do is tell them you're a talent agent.
Free $250 gift cards, and all you have to is delete 15,247 spam emails.

Everything's free, free, free... and all you have to do is deal with whatever crap comes with it, but the point is that you don't have to deal with the bad if you don't want to. Just pay for it like everybody else and stop being a cheapskate, and then you won't have to deal with the fine print. I mean, it isn't really that hard to figure out, people.

Angry Internet Guy says, "All ungrateful SOB's should be entitled to a free pineapple. Of course, the fine print designates the exact method of delivery..."