Angry Internet Guy

Visit AngryInternetGuy.com... It's kinda important.

What more can I say? All of you Blog Explosion surfers (and BOTB voters) who haven't bothered to actually read the inspired rantings of the lunatic that is Jake are sure gonna regret it some day.

I'll tell you what... God told me I should go ahead and offer a deal to you folks. Anybody who bookmarks, blogmarks, blogrolls, takes the time to rate/comment, or (most importantly) links directly to angryinternetguy.blogspot.com (or the easier to remember domain "AngryInternetGuy.com") will be spared some of that hellish heat, and you'll simply go to Kansas. Those of you who actually put up a banner (when I make one available) get a free pass to heaven.* Those of you who don't visit or link... Not only will you go to hell when you die, but you'll be forced to listen to a never ending version of three part harmony "Row Row Row Your Boat" starring Alanis Morissette, Yoko Ono, and Ethel Merman.

* Note: Actual heaven does not exist. Name used for illustrative purposes only. "Heaven" is a registered trademark of "Priests Who Use The Words Heaven And Hell To Scare Little Boys Into Submission, L.L.C.", also known as the First National Catholic Bank. (Um, I mean Church. Well, actually, I mean Bank. Deal with it. I mean, they own a freakin' country, for Christ's sake. You can't tell me that they didn't spend just a WEE bit of that offering money on luxuries. I mean, a country is somewhat of a luxury purchase, right? Am I the only freakin' one on the planet who sees this?)

Angry Internet Guy says, "Don't just visit for the Battle Of The Blogs. Take a minute and read the entries. You'll be glad you did. Well, either that or you'll send me lots of hate mail. Either way, it works."

posted by thejake420 @ 1:23 PM